Hi, everyone!

I have a task with no specific deadline and, I would appreciate your thoughts and ideas.
The Question is ? What can I do in order to improve my love life?

This is not just a question about the promise for future activities - rather a part of the Querent?s search for a useful advice that would help her act properly in order to achieve the goal. The goal being a happy, stabile private life. (Obviously, should the chart suggest an approaching activity, it would qualify as a apart of the answer).

Since it is a specific type of Question, instead of the background story, I will share a few details that I consider useful and important from the persons? life as well and some of my own impressions.

The Querent is a female who will turn 35 this year. In her early 20es she had a long and profound relationship with a young man that ended suddenly and left her completely heartbroken. She confessed that, although it has been very long time since then, a strong reaction to being abandoned is still very much present no matter how hard she tries to hide it from herself and from the others.

Although she isn't often exposed to interrogations that single people usually go thorugh on monthly basis (?When are you going to start a family??), she herself often feels pressured. She comes from a family in which people fall in love before they turn 20 and spend their lives happily married. Since recently, the list has another member- her 10 years younger sister has apparently also found the love of her life.

The reason why other people tend to ask her questions of that kind, however, is almost paradoxical ? the Querent is very good looking, very social and very successful when it comes to many things in life. She put all her energy into becoming an artist and entering an arts academy in which she succeeded however, when she noticed that she could not survive as a single artist, she acted as a true pragmatist -she applied for the first job she found in the newspapers and, 6 years later, she is on a very important position and highly appreciated by her colleagues.

Her family members consider her to be one of the most important pillars of the family, she is a great worker with a lot of hobbies (that she also managed to bring onto a higher level- she teaches them, she earns additional money)?and it is almost as though people find it easier to ask awkward questions under such circumstances ? ?You?re so good at everything, how come you can?t find yourself a nice boyfriend??.
I?m mentioning this because the shape of her ascendant is, in my opinion, clearly describing that.

Awhile ago, soon after she ended her last relationship, I asked her if she wanted to ask a question of this kind which she refused and with a quite simpatic explanation too. At the time she was swallowing a pile of self-improvement books that were supposed to help her get in touch with herself and ?resolve the issue?. However, the whole process only managed to leave bitter taste in her mouth. She said that it seemed almost as if all those authors were simply trying to tell her that she was doing everything wrong and that she needed to become a different person. She concluded with this sentence: ?Let?s face it- my grand-grandmother was only 16 when she met her future husband; they stayed together forever and had 3 lovely children. My grand-grandmother didn?t have a clue about socialising and resolving the issues from her past when she met him and, yet, she was successful in finding herself a husband!?.
But, now,she appears to be prepared for an advice.

The things that can be excluded from the list of potential blockages are certainly the most common problems- shyness, seclusiveness or lack of communicational skills. The Querent is very open minded, communicative and social. She meets people easily and she actually always has a few suitors but, to her, it seems that she is constantly attracting all the wrong people.
She doesn?t mind approaching someone but, so far, she says that such attempts have usually ended in a disastrous way (the man is either gay, not interested or his best friend falls in love with her etc.).

So, what else can we find?
Like I said, I have no real time limit when it comes to delivering the answer/advice. Also, no specific time frame has been set for the chart although, when it comes to the outer influences (potential activities that will happen without the Querent?s will or effort), I would stick with the 6 month period as usually when it comes to such questions.
I will surely share some of my own impressions soon but, before I have time to do that, I thought that it would be interesting to hear other astrologers? opinions.

Something that I instantly spotted is that 3 planets are exalted in this chart and that all these planets play a huge role in the story: exalted Venus is sitting on her Ascendant, in my opinion, suggesting her main concern (steady love life) but also describing the impression that she leaves- a beautiful, capable woman who can surely find herself a nice man. However, the Venus/Neptune conjunction on her Asc is obviously also suggesting that her image of a perfect partner might be a bit a unrealistic. I?m curious to hear other astrologers? opinions about this placement.
Secondly, L1 is exalted inside the 5th which makes me believe that the Querent is more interested even in casual relationships that she is willing to admit (she never says ?yes? to flings, adventures or one-night-stands).
Finally, the Sun, a male planet, is exalted but, at the same time, in the detriment of Venus which puts a different light on detrimental Mars (the second male planet).
What seems like a very important part of this chart are also the oppositions- the female planets are in an opposition across the 1st/7th axis whilst the male planets are in no better position, a bit further from the cusps but still in angles. How would you describe this if you examined it as a sign of an inner struggle?

Till soon,

Aglaya

Interesting question...

What Should I change?

Place ruler of the 7th house right at the 7th house cusp and observe what is the pattern of aspects which it is forming with other planets/bodies.

Mercury placed at 6 Virgo is in opposition to Neptune-Venus..

It shows that 'Relationship could only be build up in which querent displays the characteristics of Neptune-Venus. It shows that Querent would only be happy or form long term relationship if the relationship is Codependency http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency. The Querent is advised to look for a person who suffers from 'Asperger Syndrome'. The Jupiter in Cancer
' can exhibit the caring function. The 'Aspergers are known to form life long partnerships with the persons who care for them and they dont break on any pretext whatsoever.

aglaya, what is the date, time and place of question?

kali

kali wrote:aglaya, what is the date, time and place of question?

kali

Aglaya, if you are not inclined to give the data because of reasons of anonymity, could you at least say whether the chart is cast with Regiomontanus or Placidus houses? Thank you.

Hi, Johannes and kali.

No, anonymity is not required, I appoligise, I simply forgot the fact that the data is not visible in this wheel chart.

The question is actually quite a traveler - it was asked in Italy while I was in Spain however, I opened the email in a third country during my business trip. :)I usually communicate with this client in person but, this time, she sent me an email saying that she would appreciate it if I could prepare an advice for her when we see each other the next time (most likely in June, when I'll have her yearly chart ready).
The time when I read and understood the question and cast the chart was:

Belgrade, Serbia
11 April, 2014.
04:31 AM

The house system used in the chart above is Regiomontanus.

Again, sorry for not noticing that the data was missing in the wheel.

Morpheus wrote: It shows that Querent would only be happy or form long term relationship if the relationship is Codependency http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency. The Querent is advised to look for a person who suffers from 'Asperger Syndrome'. The Jupiter in Cancer
' can exhibit the caring function. The 'Aspergers are known to form life long partnerships with the persons who care for them and they dont break on any pretext whatsoever.

Hi, Morpheus!

You aren't really suggesting that I should advise the Querent to focus on a specific diagnosis when she decides to start looking for a new partner, are you?!

The basis of the question is, obviously- how to find a person with whom I can have a HEALTHY relationship. That, of course, is not to say that we should turn our back on people who have issues (for what its worth, we all have them) or that people who deeply care for each other can only stay together as long as they're both perfectly healthy and capable of taking care of themselves. Quite the contrary ("for better, for worse..", aye!?).
However, focusing on a disorder and using it as a starting point is something completely different. The Querent is not looking for a person who will stay with her only because he needs her (help)- she wants a solid and healthy emotional bond with someone.
In her brief email, she mentioned what actually triggered this question- after giving it a little thought, she realised that all the men that she had dated since the first, biggest love, have something in common - each and every one of them has got an unresolved issue with an ex girlfriend. None of them want to go back to their ex lovers however, at the same time they are unable to get over the feeling of being hurt in the past. The reactions are sometimes overwhelming and completely unrealistic. The Querent then realised that she may have the same issue herself and started wondering if she had been attracting similar cases with that tiny little magnet hidden somewhere in her subconscious mind. She now realises that she may have been sending signals that she herself was not aware of.
So, she actually wants to get rid of a potentially negative pattern, not to exchange it for a new series of pathological relationships.

As for the care-giving part and co-dependency- Jupiter is actually very dignified (exalted) and inside the 5th; it shows great potential for someone capable of being there for someone but, at the same time, inside the 5th, it doesn't show her as a nurse.
In addition, whilst extreme versions of codependency can cause much damage in relationships, this type of connection can have much healthier manifestations: two partners sharing properties and being emotionally and physically monogamous is a form of codependency as well as one of the parties inevitably gets hurt if the balance is disturbed.

The number of oppositions in this chart is, in my opinion, clearly suggesting that her initial idea that some of her own unresolved issues might have been acting as obstacles all along, is true. The Moon is occupying the cusp that rules the area of her biggest interest and it is casting an opposition onto the Venus/Neptune conjunction on her Ascendant, obviously shifting the focus onto her (rather than the outer circumstances or destiny, if you like). Together with the shape of Mars and the opposition between the male planets (in significantly different shapes- Mars fallen and retrograde but inclined towards women- rulership of Venus and Sun exalted, angular but not interested in Venus), I'd say that this chart is indeed suggesting that there is a certain pattern that needs that needs to be cracked and resolved in her case. Her ruler is actually in a very benevolent position fro where it can nicely communicate with the Asc and the planets sitting on it (she, indeed, is a very stabile person) however, it is casting and receiving squares and oppositions all alver the chart and having troubles communicating with the male planets. The application of a retrograde, fallen Mars is, to me, a good signal of her focus onto a past relationship that left her disappointed and that keeps torturing her, this way or the other.

aglaya wrote:Hi, Johannes and kali.

No, anonymity is not required, I appoligise, I simply forgot the fact that the data is not visible in this wheel chart.

The question is actually quite a traveler - it was asked in Italy while I was in Spain however, I opened the email in a third country during my business trip. :)I usually communicate with this client in person but, this time, she sent me an email saying that she would appreciate it if I could prepare an advice for her when we see each other the next time (most likely in June, when I'll have her yearly chart ready).
The time when I read and understood the question and cast the chart was:

Belgrade, Serbia
11 April, 2014.
04:31 AM

The house system used in the chart above is Regiomontanus.

Again, sorry for not noticing that the data was missing in the wheel.

Thanks for clarification, Aglaya.

What a nice international question history.

johannes susato wrote:
What a nice international question history.

It is, isn't it?! I had to share it, I don't have many questions with so many stamps in the passport!

aglaya wrote: Belgrade, Serbia
11 April, 2014.
04:31 AM

i get a different ascendant with this time. i need to enter in 3:31am to get the same chart in your initial post.

Are you using CEST (summer time) +2h? and what program are you using?

solar fire 7.3

cet - 1 hour

That's what's causing the trouble, we have switched to Central European Summer Time, that's +2. I just checked on Astroldienst and their software changes the zone automatically, it puts the Ascendant at 06,35 Pisces.