12House & Ascendant

[Greenhorn]

Hello

my name is mike i come from germany and first i will excuse for my bad english but i will try my best for good expression and i hope you unterstand me
since around tree years i have a look to astrology but i'm at a point i do not get further with my selfknowledge.

I have a concentration in the 12th home with a big conjunktion near the ascendant, before my interest is awake to astrology i wonder many time why i'm so repulsive to the most people and they find me suspect.
to find friends seams to be nearly impossible for me, the people says shut up you are suspect to me or like this, i'am a shy person.
over time this have make me sometimes very aggressive to my self, to others and my heart got cold. i think whats so terrible wrong with me.
can I change this? with this 12th house of suffering?
or must i play with the thought of emigrating, german mentality is not my
sometimes i think a monastery ist the best place for me, but i will have fun and a greater sense in my life, but i have the feeling this is totally blocked and i'm very isolatet from the society.
my best friends in my life was those from the border society like criminals or homeless people myself was around 5 year homeless in the 90s

heres my chart for dicuss und research
i have a lot of transits where people say it's a begining of a new time but absolutly nothing happens and everything what i beginn fails at the beginning time and nothing get success and i get more depressive than ever before.
i'm workless since tree years and i do minijobs to hold my head over the water top.



greetings

Greenhorn

[Greenhorn]

and here with transits
but what i have told is a very old problem, not a new.



have an nice weekend

[Greenhorn]

i forget my question

what indicates when planets are in 12th house near ascendant, some people mean the planets are like 1st house planets but i dont think they are in the 1st house, especially venus not,
mars and pluto are maybe in the first house

which thoughts you have to my chart.

in career i think recently about a political career, but i'm generally so unpopular that i see no chance, but i will not a lifetime a loner, my perspective is nebular at time.

before i work in constructions like this

http://www.dafmap.de/d/serve.py?2012/ND8_2567.jpg

and generaly hard work or with heavy machines,
in the youth i want go to the military but the german are whimps and after 12 months i say goodbye.

i give feedback good as i can with my english

thanks

[pankajdubey]

Mike,

You can read a lot about 12th house here:

http://www.astro.com/astrologie/in_dgtwehouse_g.htm

The site is in German as well, so a good starting point.

It is generally called the house of "Self-undoing".

Then look at famous personalities with Venus and Mars in Libra and so on.
http://www.astrotheme.com/celebrities/criteres.php

Libra ascendants have been very resolute- good or bad.
So read the Autobiographies of Mahatma Gandhi, Churchill etc.
Quite a few famous Astrologers have Libra ascendant too.

PD