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Horary about Relationship with Husband

 
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StarzQ



Joined: 22 Sep 2016
Posts: 46

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 3:50 am    Post subject: Horary about Relationship with Husband Reply with quote

Hello everyone, I'm new here. This is my first time posting on this forum.


My question was "is my husband bad for me or is there something wrong with me?" I don't quite know how to read this question, because I don't know how I would figure out the OR part of it- if it is just me (I'm the reason I feel bad), then wouldn't I be in the 1st house? Or maybe that part of the question is unnecessary and can be dropped, because at the heart of this, there is only one question- is my husband bad for me/my well being?

Background- I have been married for several years and have felt depleted of energy for a long time and I've just recently started to see subtle ways my husband takes away my power. He has been in therapy for control issues but I'm not sure if it's helping.




As for my delineation-

I am Jupiter in the 7th house- thinking about my marriage- yet not in his sign- I'm in an intercepted sign in the 7th- thinking of escape. "How do I get out of here?"while feeling trapped. Anyone have any ideas what the intercepted signs mean in the context of this chart?

He as a man- the Sun- is combust Jupiter which means that he is overpowering me and blinding me to my potential (i think I have a problem which is why I don't have energy and can't do anything without his help) I am weak and blinded to the situation. With the Sun moving towards Jupiter, it shows the situation getting worse and not better.



We have the Moon- my co significator and the significator for all events pertaining to the question, on the radical 4th house cusp, angular opposing Mars on the turned 4th house, angular. Obviously this is an important symbol in the chart because it's angular and the 4th is the house of endings. It looks like we may split up.

Interestingly- the Sun reaches Jupiter in the same measure of units that the Moon opposes Mars. Could a divorce happen?

His main significator, Mercury is slow in motion having recently turned direct, and inside the turned 12th, not connected to me at all. Not even connected to his own house or the Sun which symbolizes himself as well. What is he hiding for? What is he doing there? He makes no aspects at all.

I have one last question- do you think you can read the outcome of a relationship in a chart -- if an issue will ultimately lead to break-up --if that were not specifically asked about? While there are indicators for a break-up in this chart, I did not ask about this, so I'm hesitant about reading too much into it.

Another thing is that I read somewhere on this site that Lilly said a significator combust cannot escape a situation- that it is trapped. Is this chart saying that I'm going to stay trapped? Or when a combusted planet reaches cazimi, can it escape its predicament? Confused
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felipeastrologo



Joined: 02 Apr 2015
Posts: 118

Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 4:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi StarzQ,

Your chart reflects and confirms pretty much all that you perceive to be the case. That is: Jupiter and Venus are in the Sun's fall meaning that you are disapointed in his undignified manly behavior. Jupiter is combust, that is, he dominates you. The Moon is in a Mercury's sign, that is, if he wants to manipulate you emotionally he can, since he is the dispositor of your emotions.

Notice that the Arabian Part of Marriage falls at 24 AQU 01, which makes Saturn the significator of you relationship/marriage.

Saturn is on the Star Antares of "endings". So yes the risk or possibility of ending is present. But a few contradictory forces are at play.

The Sun, Venus and Jupiter exalt Saturn, that is, there are parts of both you and your husband which hold the marriage in high regard. That is a force for staying in a relationship despite its quality.

The Sun and Jupiter are in the begining of the sign, so this situation of wanting to be in the marriage is beginning, not ending at all. Unless some other force comes into the picture this is a recipe for staying in the marriage.

The Sun is in Venus sign's indicating he has a particular interest in you physically/sexually.

Mercury is in it sign and own exaltation. This is the picture of a person who is in a self-centered state. The most important thing for him is himself. Caution. In order to manipulate other people self-centeredness is a requirement. In that sign he is in Jupiter's detriment and Venus's fall thus having the tendency to harm you while serving his own needs/desires.

Mercury is conjunct the North Node in his turned 12th house. So if he wants to be mischievous, which you have told us he does, he can do it and is in the "right" place to do it. So while having turned direct might construed as Mercury acting more sensibly than when retrograde, the receptions have not changed and you are taking the short end of the stick here.

Some change in you attitude/state is on the horizon. You are likely already feeling its effects. Venus is about to leave its sign and enter it's own detriment. This is a major shift on two accounts. You become disenchanted as a woman in a marriage and by leaving behind Saturn's exaltation you become further detached from your marriage. Venus in Scorpio enters the Moon's fall, this shift will produce undesirable emotional side-effects.

Overall there is quite a bit of contradictory feelings between the two of you. And he has power over you.

Jupiter is angular but combust in his house, it could not be weaker in the context of a marriage with a manipulative husband. Venus is about to lose its its essential dignity and weaken its angularity.

The key of you regaining power is with the Moon. But not before some events, possibly of a martial nature, given by its applying opposition. We cannot determine what Mars is. Conflict perhaps? Could it be divorce? Not sure. Do you really want to divorce? Or him? Maybe not quite yet. But after the Moon meets Mars (and maybe Venus - some other event, external or internal) the Moon enters its own sign. This will be sobering and empowering for you. The Moon in Cancer will value your emotions above all, it will exalt Jupiter, that is it will value you above all. And it will be in Saturn's detriment: the Moon will not want Saturn, the marriage.

Best of luck.
_________________
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Felipe Oliveira
http://traditionalmedicalastrology.org
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StarzQ



Joined: 22 Sep 2016
Posts: 46

Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 6:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Felipeasrologo. Thank you so much for taking the time to analyze my chart so thoroughly. You pointed out quite a few things I originally missed.

Isn't it amazing how much you can pull from a horary chart? Sometimes I'm still blown away by this art.

Sometimes, though, it's one thing to see it all confirmed and breathe a sigh of relief (it's not all just in my head), and quite another to really know what to do with the information. It's just strange that knowing what he is doing to me isn't making it any easier to know what to do than it was before. But I guess that truly reflects my state of being combusted! No power and no clarity- I'm just stuck.

It makes perfect sense that Saturn rules the Lot of Marriage because that is what our marriage has always personified- Saturn- stability, structure, security and all that, but on the same token, repression burden and isolation.

My husband, Mercury being in its own sign and exaltation- what you said rang true 100%. I hadn't thought about what it meant in the context of self centeredness but that is spot on. He makes all of the decisions despite me constantly and if I don't like something well he makes it clear that I can leave and he will be just fine without me.

I could go on and on about how he has taken away my power but I'm pretty sure you don't want to read a book... So I'll just assure you that you are right in that he has power over me. I'm actually very disappointed in myself that I allowed him to do this to me.

But as you mention, there is something about the quality of our marriage that I love and comforts me in a way nothing else can.

Contradictory indeed.

I don't necessarily want a divorce but I do want to feel better. I don't know how to live without him because he anchors me and the comfort is something I feel I will never find outside of him.

Anyway, hopefully once the Moon enters Cancer I will finally feel better.

Thank you for your delineation!
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StarzQ



Joined: 22 Sep 2016
Posts: 46

Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 6:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another thing that I just realised is that Jupiter in the fall of Sun may mean that he feels I'm diminishing him in some way. He's in his fall so I think that he feels insecure and it's possibly because of me. Since he started counseling and finally admitted he has control issues, I point out everything he does that is controlling or manipulative. Its an unhealthy dynamic because the more I do this, the more insecure he becomes as a man, therefore the tighter he will want to hold on to his control. Its a really difficult thing to try to fix.

But anyway, even if he is trying to fix his control issues, he's still in his own sign and exaltation in the 12th... He's probably never going to consider me. I should have known that was a given because he's told me more than once he's in counseling to fix his issues for himself. Of course his counselor told him that's what he should be there for. Which should be the objective, of course, it's just that to him this means that he gets more incentive to only consider himself while keeping me mostly out of the equation. So to him, being in counseling has little to do with our marriage. Its all about him. He refuses to do marriage counseling. He's enjoying his individual counseling too much I guess.
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felipeastrologo



Joined: 02 Apr 2015
Posts: 118

Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 4:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some comments:

StarzQ wrote:
Another thing that I just realised is that Jupiter in the fall of Sun may mean that he feels I'm diminishing him in some way.


Venus is also in the Sun's fall. You are disappointed in him so he must feel it. He certainly has self-esteem issues and if someone dislikes him it will not feel good to him.

StarzQ wrote:
He's in his fall so I think that he feels insecure and it's possibly because of me.

It could manifest as insecurity, certainly. But I would not jump at the "why" so readily. Personal feelings are part of a web of energies and the cause of things is never clearly defined. Plus, watch out for any tendency that you may have to accept and ascribe fault to yourself. If a hint of that is present in you it will feed his power to control you. He feels bad primarily because of how he is, less because of how you are.

StarzQ wrote:
Mercury being in its own sign and exaltation- what you said rang true 100%. I hadn't thought about what it meant in the context of self centeredness but that is spot on.

Horary is a reflection of how things are. Self-centeredness is a very common force and is a basic manifestation in human conflict and if it is relevant in a relationship the self-centeredness will be shown in the chart.

StarzQ wrote:
Its an unhealthy dynamic because the more I do this, the more insecure he becomes as a man, therefore the tighter he will want to hold on to his control. Its a really difficult thing to try to fix.

Yes, action and reaction. But at least there is a dynamic. Someone has to do express something so that the parts can move and become visible and workable. Growing together in a relationship is an art form. As we grow and hopefully become less self-centered the easier it becomes to accept things as they are and the less we feel bad about ourselves. But yes, it can be difficult.

StarzQ wrote:
I should have known that was a given because he's told me more than once he's in counseling to fix his issues for himself…. He's enjoying his individual counseling too much I guess.

It makes total sense. Can you imagine spending a full hour speaking about oneself to someone who is paid to listen? Therapy is ego-heaven! But it can be part of the process of understanding oneself and the result can be less self-centeredness, if the therapy is successful and the person grows up.

Your mind seems rather clear about your situation. You could be a counselor yourself! :-)
_________________
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Felipe Oliveira
http://traditionalmedicalastrology.org
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StarzQ



Joined: 22 Sep 2016
Posts: 46

Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you, Felipe for all the tips. I'm truly grateful. I'm glad I signed up here because it seems like a place where I can actually learn horary unlike some other horary forums.

I'm feeling hopeful now. I love it that you pointed out the Moon is soon going to exalt my significator after it changes signs so I will feel more empowered for once in a very long time.

Btw, thank you for the compliment about being a counselor myself. You are pretty insightful yourself -- believe it or not, that is what I want to go to graduate school for. Cheers!
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felipeastrologo



Joined: 02 Apr 2015
Posts: 118

Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2016 12:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're welcome. I'm glad the information can be of help.

The Moon leaving Gemini can have a triple related effect: it leaves the power of Mercury, so you can expect feeling less manipulated even if he tries. It leaves the detriment of Jupiter and enters its exaltation, so you can expect more self-respect and self-valuation. Hold on tight for that Mars, which comes before Cancer...

That's cool about your graduate school plans... :-)

Best,
_________________
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Felipe Oliveira
http://traditionalmedicalastrology.org
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StarzQ



Joined: 22 Sep 2016
Posts: 46

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 7:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Moon/Mars opposition just played out last night. An argument.
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StarzQ



Joined: 22 Sep 2016
Posts: 46

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Felipe, I have to say that your delineation really helped me brake open my perception regarding my marriage. Everyday, I'm seeing more and more clearly the dynamics between my husband and I. I don't know if I could have seen everything just by studying the chart on my own. You are really good at this. I would hire you as an astrologer in a heartbeat.

For instance, I'm starting to really ask myself questions like, is it better to be provided for and to feel safe and secure (this is the moon in domicile of Mercury/husband) while being overpowered and manipulated or would it be better to risk my perceived security and start being my own anchor in order to feel empowered and truly happy because I would be living my life the way that feels good and true to my self. I've lost my autonomy and my passion for life because I've been living just to please him, to my detriment.

I think I always confused his dominance of me for caring or love but I think it's more superficial than I realized. You pointed out the Sun in the domicile of Venus symbolizing that he is attracted to me physically and this makes it all come together. I think he really only likes me for my physical appearance. He's possesive and controlling of that aspect of me. But with him/Mercury in the detriment of me/Jupiter he does not have my well-being in mind. He doesn't consider me as a person...only me physically.
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felipeastrologo



Joined: 02 Apr 2015
Posts: 118

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi StarzQ,

Thanks for the kind words. Multiple significators and common-sense use of receptions reveal all the important details in relationship charts.

I am glad that the information has been illuminating. And it is great that you have the maturity and clarity of mind to investigate and corroborate the information in your experience. It is nice that you have begun to pose those questions to yourself.

There has been a change of persepective for you. That is shown by the Moon changing signs. Where you are coming from now matches what the receptions and essential dignity by the Moon in Cancer show, as described previously.

It is also good to take into account that the Moon is your emotions and intuition, while Jupiter is more the "person" and/or the thinking/logical mind. This can be too subtle a distinction for many people, but it can be very useful to take into account when we experience inner conflict/doubt. Following your intuition, what you feel to be right, is following the wise part of yourself in this situation. That is where your best discrimination comes from.

With best wishes,
_________________
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Felipe Oliveira
http://traditionalmedicalastrology.org
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StarzQ



Joined: 22 Sep 2016
Posts: 46

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, the internal conflict was keeping me stuck and confused and it makes sense with the Moon in Gemini in the detriment of Jupiter symbolizing my internal conflict.


Anyway, thank you a million, you helped me more than you realize. Take care!


Last edited by StarzQ on Tue Oct 18, 2016 3:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
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StarzQ



Joined: 22 Sep 2016
Posts: 46

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You mentioned that the Sun and Jupiter newly in Libra in the exaltation of the lot of marriage ruler, Saturn means we are just starting to want the marriage-- well, this makes perfect sense too because my husband and I separated over the summer and decided to give our marriage another try about two and a half months before I asked this question. So it is true that wanting to make the marriage work came recently.
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