Are you a Cancer?

Yes, I'm a Cancer, the best sign in the zodiac.
Total votes: 1 (33%)
No I'm not a Cancer, I'm a Scorpio, Libra, etc., but I wish I were a Cancer.
Total votes: 1 (33%)
I'm a Capricorn. Life is hard.
Total votes: 1 (33%)
Total votes: 3

Happy Birthday Cancers

1
Horoscope for Cancers (June 21 - July 21)

Cancer, you totally rule. You are probably the best sign ever. You aren't wimpy and delusional like a Pisces, and Scorpios have too much baggage. Your opposite sign is Capricorn. Everyone hates Capricorns, therefore everyone loves you. Summer is the best season, and July is the best month. If you are a Cancer born in June, you are not as cool as other Cancers. Sorry. Leos born in July are just plain better people than those born in August. Lucky them. Maybe next time you'll get to be a Cancer.

The most awesome people who ever existed were Cancers. To name a few:

Julius Caesar (Most excellent general and the people of Rome loved him. Would have been a great emperor but Brutus killed him because he was jealous of his Cancerian coolness. Brutus was a Capricorn.

Ernest Hemingway (I heard he wrote some books. They are probably the best books ever because he is a Cancer)

Han Solo AND Indiana Jones (Come on people, did you just read what I wrote?)

For your Birthday, you should charm someone of the opposite sex to make you a birthday feast, it shouldn't be hard. You should also lie around your house all day, and maybe take a nap if you're so inclined. If you feel like moving, go for a walk, stare off into space and think great thoughts - you're a master of all three. If you have to work on your birthday call in sick and take the day off, it will be fine because everyone loves you.

Have a great Birthday!


Disclaimer: Like most sun sign astrology, this was a joke. Except the Capricorn stuff. ;)

3
Where is the option for "I'm not Cancer, thank God!"
?
Its not an option because no sane person in the history of humanity has ever thought that. Only grumpy Caps would entertain such a notion and thats why they get their own special Capricorn option.

But somehow your post has spoken volumes.

...but seriously, July is the best month. I will grant you that May is nice, but it is boring. May has always been a big yawn. Now July isn't the most exciting month either, but you have to admit there is something very nice about July. It is the grand life of the year.

Spring is life returning, which is my second favorite season. I love the first hints of spring that burst out of the winter, a bird chirping in the middle of the night, or just a familiar smell. You can always sense it, and when you do its a happy thought to know that the worst of the long dead winter is over.

Fall is the worst, for reasons opposite those above. You can feel that first chill of fall. Its only 6PM and the sun has already set. The steetlights have come on and everyone is in a hurry again. Uggh, I hate even thinking about it.

Lets just be happy its Summer. :)



Did I mention Cancers were moody? Is the moon changing signs mid-post here?!

I had a little quip about you being a Capricorn to end on but thinking about Fall depressed me.

:-cry

;)

4
Cancerian is good *SHE* is Cancerian. :lala

But the fate of Horary astrology in particular and Traditional astrology in general is in the hands of Pisces Sun Sign people with Leo ascendant. :brows . Which means, a dismal future in the offing :lala

Jokes apart, Cancerian girls are the best (So are Arian, Taurean, Gemnian, Leo, Virgo,Libraz, Scorpio, Saggi, Capy, Aquarians and Pisceans) :brows.

I wish for more rains in July (as i wish for april, may, june and august).


Gryffindor.
Regards

Morpheus

https://horusastropalmist.wordpress.com/